My New Blog

http://kaytesstory.blogspot.com/

Moving On

Me and Anthony are finally working things out, moving on, forgetting the bad and making a whole new relationship :) I'm gonna make a new blog so I'll post the URL when I do.

Drowning

I am drowning in this life. It all makes me wanna die. I am swimming in a storm. And I am all alone. Abandoned. And afraid. Lost. And so alone. I lie, I die, I cry and ask why. I scream and I cry. I beg and I plead. I need help but no one will give it to me. Nobody listens, nobody cares. And that big lonely world is all out there. Full of hopelessness and despair, selfishness and fury. There is no good or hopes for this world. Best friends stab you in the back, abandon you to die. No one cares when they see you, pass you on the streets as you die. I wish I could fly. Fly away from it all. And when I'm so high, I'll look down on you all. Laughing and also crying, missing my shreds of life. Flying so high as the sun and falling to earth as I die.

Die

These tears are streaming down my face. They are silent because I cannot let them know. They wouldn't care. Nothing would happen. Only the rejection of my own.

Secret Tears

I cry alone in the dead of night when nobody is there.

Broken

Broken is my soul. My life my love my happiness. Broken am I and forever have I been and will I be.

Empty

I'm all alone. I'm sitting alone in a corner in the dark alleyway. I'm sitting. Just sitting. Thinking. Thinking about how alone I am. How abandoned. And afraid. Yet somehow not afraid of those who wish to hurt me. Because everything else seems worse. The people I'm supposed to trust who say they care but are really never there. How they say they love me yet turn their backs. Leaving me alone. And afraid. The girl in the dark. It seems like I'm just asking to be attacked. Raped. Murdered. And in a way, I guess I am. Because I've already had the rape of my soul. The death of my happiness. And who I am has been attacked. And done away with. I don't know who I am. I don't know where I am. And I don't know why. I don't understand. But I still sit. Tucked into myself alone in the dark. Knowing I am alone in the world. Knowing I will never be understood. Accepted. Loved. Content. Happy. I will never be that girl who truly means her smiles. Who knows that she is happy. Who has a good life at home and school and everywhere. I am the girl who wishes for what she knows she will not have. Who smiles but rarely hopes. Because she knows the hoping is only leading her heart to be broken. Because what she is hoping for never comes. I am empty.

The Love That Hurts

Aww my boyfriend sent me this like a month ago but I just checked the email address he sent it to today:
I love you Kayte. With all my heart, with all my soul. How can I go on without losing control? Without you there is no me, without you there is no light I can see. I'm corny, I'm an ass, and I lie. But I love you Kayte. When your happy, when your mad, when your away from me and when your near, when you hate me, when you love me, I can't do without you. Your my other half, my one true love. I've given my heart to you, and I have yours. Even when you dash mine on the floor and leave it there to rot I keep your heart safe, loved and in my arms, like a baby or a jewel, but far more precious. Please don't leave me Kayte... I love you so much... I'm just never there to show you how much I do.

Tears

I almost cried today. Don't really know why except that I have been going through a lot and I thought my boyfriend didn't want me near him and I was in his arms and suddenly I was almost crying. Weird...I kinda wonder how he would've reacted.