Empty

I'm all alone. I'm sitting alone in a corner in the dark alleyway. I'm sitting. Just sitting. Thinking. Thinking about how alone I am. How abandoned. And afraid. Yet somehow not afraid of those who wish to hurt me. Because everything else seems worse. The people I'm supposed to trust who say they care but are really never there. How they say they love me yet turn their backs. Leaving me alone. And afraid. The girl in the dark. It seems like I'm just asking to be attacked. Raped. Murdered. And in a way, I guess I am. Because I've already had the rape of my soul. The death of my happiness. And who I am has been attacked. And done away with. I don't know who I am. I don't know where I am. And I don't know why. I don't understand. But I still sit. Tucked into myself alone in the dark. Knowing I am alone in the world. Knowing I will never be understood. Accepted. Loved. Content. Happy. I will never be that girl who truly means her smiles. Who knows that she is happy. Who has a good life at home and school and everywhere. I am the girl who wishes for what she knows she will not have. Who smiles but rarely hopes. Because she knows the hoping is only leading her heart to be broken. Because what she is hoping for never comes. I am empty.