My Shredded Heart

He is my life, my love, my happiness. My soul, my tears, my strength. I know that when I am sad and lonely I can fall into his arms and he will catch and love and hold me tight. He is my shield from the hurts, the pains, the cold of the world. I love the smell, the shelter, the love he gives me. Without him the fun, the laughter, the joy of everything is gone. I miss the safety, how it felt to kiss him, how it felt to just melt into his arms and let him be strong for me, how he just wanted to protect me from the world. And now he has to protect me from his mom. I am his life and he is mine. But my soul is now empty. I don't have him anymore. And i need to accept that I will never have him again. But every time I see him in the halls at school, every time I run across a picture or memory of him, the knife will twist inside me. I am Kayte. I was strong. I will be strong. But I am tired of fighting. I will just live with the pain life deals to me. And I will give up my soul. No more fighting. It hurts too much. Better to just accept than to still hope and pay the price inside my heart.