Cuts That Bring Rain

I want deep cuts to tear away the pain and rain down my blood like a heavy rain. I know in my life I am most likely not sane and all I want is a kind of rain.

Knife

This knife’s sharp teeth match mine. The ones on the dagger you stuck inside my heart. It matches me it hates me it only wants to destroy me. I withdraw but I’m there. Staring out the world. Confused and lost. Alone and afraid. It hurts but I’m numb. I’m lost and I’m dumb. These marks they let out all the pain. And they allow it all to drain. I’m running around inside the rain. Raining of my tears and soul. Life and blood. Emotions and happiness. In all, they were inside of me but now I’m forcing them to leave.

Turmoil

I am dead. I am alive. Everything around me. Crying out inside. Calling out for life. Playing with this knife. Because it’s the only one that understands me. The one that wants to destroy me, too. The only one that will…besides you. You tear me you hurt me and make me scream. Calling out for life. But a life that will not come. Because of what I have become. Screaming running crashing down inside me I die and no one knows. All of these blows. Some from you some from others but all within the world. I hate it, it hurts me and I only wanna die. But inside I am dying. I shut out the world and the pain inside. I become numb and the fumes make me dumb. All of this hurt inside me it twists and makes scream. But only inside because on the surface I’m calm, collected, sure of myself and the world. Calculating and cool. Inside I don’t understand. Wish you do but you don’t and you won’t. All those who love me and I love are gone they leave me. All alone inside. The world whirling around me and I fall to the floor. Running out the door. But without direction. I don’t know where I go. What I want to be. All I know is that the definition of turmoil is me.

Life

I'd rather hear a truth that kills me than a lie that comforts me.

So corny but sweet

As a response to my Anguish in the Night poem:
For the good things we wait, for the bad we try to alleviate. In the end, when you come around the last bend, you will know and love that you have more than a friend. Dont cry now, dont get high now. Cry on my shoulder if you need to, get high of the love that i give you. Today is worse, but tomorrow, even with the sorrow and my love as your curse, the burden is easier because it wont get worse.

Anguish in the Night

My heart-you threw it out the door. It shatters when it hits the floor. My tears explode inside of me. All I want is just to leave. But I can't. I'm a prisoner. And I feels the marks. Of when all things good and bright went dark. The candle of hope flickered out. One lone candle in an emptiness of dark. The lone warmth and love it shows. But I don't have it and this I know. I try to prevent myself from dying. But all this time I'm lonely crying. And those tears show me what is true. That I'll always be alone without you. With this truth I must learn to live. And the world I will never forgive.